Thank God it’s Thursday, because my bitch Meredith Grey is FINALLY BACK! This post is a ranking of all the season finales from least tequila needed to the most leading up to the season fourteen premiere tonight at 8 pm!
13. “Family Affair”, Season 12
The most terrifying part of this episode was April having her daughter with Warren delivering her as she screamed in pain. The rest of the episode was pretty happy, with Owen and Amelia getting married! And then Maggie dropped the “I like Riggs” on Mer, when she was totes feeling him. Will Mer ever be fucking happy? (My guess is probably not)
Tequila Needed: None
12. “Unaccompanied Minor”, Season 7
I lovelovelove Alex Karev, but still kind of mad he threw Mer under the bus about the clinical trial her and Derek were working on. Cristina found out that she was pregnant and did not want to keep it, thus further damaging her relationship with Owen (I never liked them together anyway). This finale was pretty boring, I don’t think any tequila is necessary.
Tequila needed: just a whiff
11. “Who’s Zoomin’ Who?”, Season 1
This might’ve been the first slap in the face Shonda gave us. Addison came in like a wrecking ball in such an epic scene that literally left me to pick my jaw up off the floor. This first slap in the face would just be the beginning of what Shonda had in store for us all.
Tequila Needed: Like, 1/2 a shot, a sip if you will
10. “You’re My Home”, Season 11
This was the real end of McDreamy. Meredith shared the last voicemail she got from him with Amelia, who was struggling imensely with her brothers death, especially since Meredith pulled the plug without anyone else having the chance to say good-bye. I think about this episode and immediately think how Derek deserved a better story line, or at least a better write off.
Tequila Needed: 1 shot
9. “Freedom (Parts 1+2)”, Season 4
Candle. House. That’s all. Meredith literally layed out candles for Derek in the shape of a fucking house to prove to him how much she loves him. The stories going on at the hospital were incredibly sad, from a boy trapped in cement to the two clinical trial participants who literally made our hearts melt, then break. Oh, and Hahn broke up with Callie in this season finale.
Tequila Needed: 2 shots
8. “Didn’t We Almost Have It All?”, Season 3
I’m gonna start this off by saying I never liked Burke. Always thought he was a pretentious piece of poop. And then he left Yang at the alter, and I knew all my theories about him were right. Yang was ready to give up everything for him, and he walked away from her after Mama took her eyebrows. Watching Sandra Oh rip the necklace off and Meredith cutting her from the dress helped shed the weight we as viewers felt for her.
Tequila Needed: 3 shots (like for each season, lol jk, just take the shots)
7. “The Perfect Storm”, Season 9
Jackson runs into a bus that eventually explodes and April flips shit and says she might not get married if she can be with him. Meredith gives birth to her son during a huge fucking storm, and almost dies on the table, but thank god she didn’t poop on the table! Arizona cheated on Callie (fucking bitch) and Owen and Yang finally called it quits.
Tequila Needed: A few shots
6. “Fear (Of The Unknown)”, Season 10
I’ll never get over Yang leaving. I don’t even want to say anything else other than Yang needs to make an appearance sometime soon, and dance it out one more fucking time.
Tequila Needed: Most of the bottle for my girl Yang
5. “Ring of Fire”, Season 13
I just rewatched this episode yesterday to get myself hyped for tonight’s premiere and I honestly forgot how intense it was. What started with a rapist in the hospital turned into Edward’s lighting him on fire, the hospital fucking exploding, Edwards saving a little girl, and quitting her position as a resident within the hospital. I’m really gonna miss Team Neuro, and I hope whoever takes her place as Amelia’s sidekick does a hell of a job. Oh, not to mention, Megan (Owen’s sister) is FUCKING ALIVE. Meredith broke the news to Riggs, and was left in tears as he raced off to go see her. Again, Mer, will you ever get to be happ?
Tequila Needed: A whole bottle
4. “Now or Never”, Season 5
007. Crushed my fucking heart. I think the worst part was when Meredith figured out that it was George, after being referred to as John Doe all fucking day. And then Izzie goes limp in Karev’s arms, and we think she’s dead, especially when the elevator doors open and there’s George in an army uniform. Just c’mon, Shonda, ease the pain.
Tequila Needed: 1-2 bottles
3. “Losing My Religion”, Season 2
This episode DESTROYED me. I’m talking like cried for forty five minutes over a fucking fictional character destroyed me. Seattle Grace prom? Hell fucking yeah! Denny Duquette suffering a stroke and fucking dying before he and Izzie could be happy? Hell fucking NO. Every time I head “Chasing Cars” I immediately think of Izzie laying with his lifeless body before hero Karev scoops her up. All the tears.
Tequila Needed: 3 bottles
2. “Death and All His Friends”, Season 6
Every time I watch this episode I have to pause it multiple times before I can finish watching it. One of the most unexpected and terrifying episodes of Grey’s to date, starting with Reed being shot point blank in the head and ending with Meredith’s miscarriage. Cristina had a gun held to her head while operating on Derek who was shot in the fucking chest while Mer pleads for Mr. Clark to shoot her instead, Alex was shot, Bailey held onto a resident while he bled out, and it was just a big fucking mess. Still not over this episode, won’t ever be over this episode.
Tequila Needed: Drink until you can’t remember your name
- “Flight”, Season 8
I’m not sure there is a more devastating episode of Grey’s than this one. Fans who watched the show from the jump stopped watching it after this fucking episode! What made it the worst was that Mark finally realized that Lexie was the one, while she was on her way towards the light crushed by the plane that ended up killing her. Derek almost never operated again because of the damage to his hand, Arizona lost a fucking leg, Mark fucking died from his injuries at the hospital, everyone had extreme PTSD after the crash. Just the most devastating event in Grey’s history.
Tequila Needed: Just go to a tequila warehouse, you need it all
So there you have it: thirteen drama, tear and tequila filled season finales. Can’t wait to see what Shonda has in store for us this season!