Staring

It’s 1:30 am and I just hung up FaceTime. Before that 17 minute call, I laid in bed staring at the dark corners of the hotel room I’m in. And after hanging up, I find myself still staring. 

I yawned during the entirety of my call, each sentence met with a tired expression crossing my face. I sat on the balcony, my face being lit up by the changing colors of the hotel pool, still yawning uncontrollably.

“Have you written any blogs lately?” A question I was asked, a response I wasn’t ready for. After my latest mental breakdown I wanted to step away from my blog, ultimately deciding that it wasn’t anyone’s business but my own what I’m going through. 

And here I am, unbelievably tired but wide awake- back staring at the never ending darkness made up by the corners of the room writing this blog. I’m not sure what it is: the sadness in my heart, the excitement of my Florida vacation, the inevitable loss of all things good in my life that is forcing my mind to go haywire and my eyes to remain wide open.

While I can’t pinpoint what’s keeping me awake past my liking, I’m hoping that I drift off to a better world my mind makes up for me during tonight’s sleep. 

Here’s to sweet dreams & lazy Sunday’s. 

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