Two blog posts in less than twenty-four hours? It’s like Christmas! But seriously, I feel empty. Yesterday, I took a sick day and had a plastic bag with me at all times in case of vomiting. I went through a box and a half of tissues in what seemed like record breaking time. I drank, at the very least, three bottles of water to try and stay hydrated.
But this morning, while I’m getting ready for work, I’m weak and about to fall over. I undressed to get in the shower, looked down, and saw just bones. An outline of myself, from not eating for maybe a day and a half. I think the last time I ate was Monday afternoon on my lunch break, and not a bite since.
I’m not forcing myself not to eat, by the way. Monday night when I came home from work, I couldn’t work up an appetite to eat the dinner my mom had cooked. “Pack it up please, I’ll take it as lunch.” I didn’t take it as lunch. And yesterday, while dozing in and out of consciousness and trying to not yak, I can’t honestly remember having a single thing to eat. And now, I pay the price. I don’t even know how my stomach will handle me eating anything today, and I’m not excited for the nausea
The emptiness is throughout me. My stomach, quite literally, hasn’t had any contents since Monday. My heart feels empty. My head feels empty. I feel so light, but so so heavy at the same time.